It’s Earth Day today. Whoop de fucking doo. We live on this planet every single day, from cradle to grave, astronauts excepted, and one day out of 365 we concern ourselves with our impact?
I usually miss the boat on holiday relevant posts. Actually, I am late on most every post. Tote bag giveaway? Ended two weeks ago or something, but since no one wanted it I am donating it. Someone‘s got to like magenta. Part of the reason this blog has been around for like, two years and I almost never post is because it is really difficult to pour energy into something with no momentum. I get it. It’s okay. Environmental concerns are depressing. American Idol is more interesting to you.
I try really hard to be gentle and encouraging. It goes along with my whole hopeless-cause-but-I’m-doing-it-anyway schtick. I try not to be the Sara McLaughlin of blogging. People don’t like guilt. So I try not to guilt.
But you know what? Fuck that. Today I am going to guilt.
I am going to rant and make people feel like giant assholes, because you know what? We are. Myself included. We are giant assholes to this planet every single day, and one day very soon, there are going to be a number of terrifyingly tragic natural disastery events on a scale most people choose not to comprehend, and we will freaking deserve it.
I understand that it takes a certain amount of privilege for people to be able to concern themselves with stuff like informed consumerism, less waste living, going veg for the right reasons, having access to healthy foods, or even having the education and critical thinking skills that make the concerns possible. I am, to a degree, lucky to live so close to health food stores and non-chain restaurants.
I am not blogging to my demographic. It’s a niche, I get that. But it’s hard to keep all of that in perspective when something like, oh, I don’t know, finding out that people close to me don’t even take me seriously. My parents still drink out of plastic water bottles. Some of my best friends will accept plastic shopping bags, cringe, and apologize to me. Instead of just effing refusing it. When I am standing right there. When I have just attempted to gracefully refuse one. When I have offered them use of my tote. ARGSDFSD;LKFHWF HWAFHWSADHF;SAKFH;LSAKDFHSL;A
Don’t apologize to me asshole. APOLOGIZE TO THE PLANET. APOLOGIZE TO THE SEA OTTERS AND DOLPHINS AND FISHIES AND WHALES. Also go fuck yourself.
I may not be able to muster the kind of lyric intensity that the deranged sorority girl offered her sisters, and I am definitely not going to threaten to assault anyone, I know better than to put that shit in writing. In fact, I may return to my regularly scheduled and VERY uncharacteristic gentle prodding after I post this. But it’s Earth Day motherfuckers, and I am here to serve you some hard earned well-deserved realness. Fuck off with your measly tree hugging, you aren’t doing fuck-all for the tree, and I know you are going to resume wasting paper, driving unnecessarily and shoveling down bacon tomorrow. Did you have a ~*fAbUlOuS*~ time at your beach clean-up, which you followed up by dumping just as much trash, if not more, into your dumpster, to eventually make its way into landfills and back out to sea? Wake the fuck up.
Yeah, it’s Earth day, but you know what, every fucking day is Earth day. And we are all not doing enough.
*drops the mic*
Pura vida, jerks.